To my angel

Hi angel,

38 weeks ago I had no idea we'd both be headed this way. In fact, not in my wildest dreams did I visualize calling you mine or having you by my side.

I have been the most uncaring, inattentive, annoying, distorted, complex, shameless boyfriend at various times in our relationship but regardless, you have never left my side for a second.

Hi angel, you probably don't expect to see this, because the last I wrote you was over 2 centuries back and you probably have thought to yourself "that fire died long ago." No angel, allow me cut you the slack...

I know I act like I am never worried about stuff; like how to make ego or what the what the future holds in store. Allow me to surprise you by informing you that this guy is always on a worry ramp and this is why I have those occasional outbursts that leave you trying to understand my kind. The only difference is, I have come to understand that worry can also fuel ones drive (Mba ma, I don't have a car yet so I am not talking about petrol gotten from total,  oando or nnpc).

Hi angel, remember the trolls? All those smelling people that strongly believed we had a 'joke relationship,' well look who's laughing now. They said a month was still very young, we clocked nine and now they're planning our wedding ahead of us. Haha. Uwa bu ezigbo pawpaw.

Anyway, I'm not here to disclose my dialect.

How do I begin to thank you; for all those times when we had nothing to eat and you'll say 'Baby don't worry, let us drink garri everything will be fine.' or when my mood swings would drop by and you'd be there for me to rain my aggression on and afterwards I would tell myself issnur good o, this girl did nothing wrong. You see my love, all of these is a preparatory phase and thanks to grace we will soon be out of this cooking pot (yunnoe soup wey dey sweet dey tey for fire).

My baby boo, 2015 is almost come to an end. Remember that this is only the beginning of our journey, I cannot promise to be Mr. fantastic in 2016 but I promise to marvel you with more beautiful things. I also know that ego is needed to sustain a relationship so I have been prophesying financial breakthrough into our 2016. But my dearest angel, we have survived this long and stayed beautiful without it so remember to shut out ego (pride) from ego when we finally get the ego we want.

Regardless of how many times I have and will fuck(ed) up, I want you to know right now that I love you from the bottom of my heart. I am simply a boy trying to be my own man (meaning I don't have lecturers teaching me how to live this life) so I will make mistakes in this process of trying to grow up. I hope you forgive me in advance.

Lastly my darling lover, we all have battles we fight on a daily basis and sometimes we are the only ones who know what exactly they are. Fear not what the future holds in store, understand that you are the only key to the future you seek and that simply makes you the gatekeeper to your own gate. Your mind will sometimes mess with you but never forget that you are in charge. Negativity has never added to anyone so I urge you to remain positive (unless of course you're at a HIV screening center).

I am not superman but I promise to continue to be a Clark Kent for my precious Louis Lane.

Happy 38th week baby boo, I love you.

I am

I wake up every morning to stress and a life of unrest
I sometimes get tired of waiting for the bright days ahead, but wait I continue
I walk on a street full of people but I'm all alone
I am a child who knows what it feels like to be depressed
I am a child with no idea what it feels like learning inside a class
I have been deprived of what should be basic
I am the child that never had a toy car or a fancy eyeglass
I am a child whose smile goes unnoticed
I am tired of the silence of the voices that I should hear
I wish I could run away from the stench of this poverty
I have dreams even though I have no bed to sleep
I am a child lacking parental affection and care
I am an observer, refused recognition because of my Inabilities
I am hopeful and strong although you tag me a liability
I am trying to hibernate myself from the hardship life has subjected me to
I have greatness in me even though I was born with disabilities
I am a victim of poverty living in a place called isolation and discomfort
I have been rejected and called dirty
I am a child on the streets begging alms and seeking food to eat because reality is unfair and the world is more cruel and less kind
I am a child whose friends and companions live on the inside of his mind
I am alone, I do not feel among
I am tired of having my palms stretched out like a rubber band extended past its elastic limit
I am stuck with no answers to questions like 'why me?' or 'Is this where I belong?'
I am cold at night with no roof over my little head, laying close to a gutter full of dirt and vomit
I am that child crying out for help, I am that child hawking on the streets
I am another casualty of misfortune, I am a child who knows what it feels like living in hell.

While we bask in the euphoria of Christmas and light up our trees, let us also remember those on the streets and the kids who never knew to go to school because they had either nobody or no money to afford a session's fees. Pay attention to the things around you and show some love to these little kids, the world is a lot more tense than it seems.

Compliments of the season from Antoine's Desk.